Grace and peace to you. Or in the Greek- χάρις ὑμῖν καὶ εἰρήνη. I say this because I hope you will remember the love and grace that God gives us through his son, Jesus Christ. I also hope that your Thanksgivings were full of family, joy, love, and of course full of gratitude for the blessings you enjoy.
I love this time of year. Next week begins the season of Advent which is one of my favorite parts of the liturgical calendar because we prepare for the arrival of Jesus Christ and our much beloved Christmas story… not to mention it’s a time of year where I can indulge in large amounts of good food without the guilt. We also start to look at the beginning of the next year. We think of what we hope will happen in 2019, plans we have made, trips we might take, and other wonderful things. We also look over our shoulders at the things that have happened in 2018. We think of our favorite events, new friendships, new job opportunities and all manner of good things that have happened to us. It is also a time for self-reflection, reassessing our beliefs, our walk as Christians, and our relationship with our Creator.
Such introspection can also create a time of deep repentance where we reflect on our own weaknesses, shortcomings, and temptations. We are taking a personal inventory concerning our walks as followers of Christ. Are we acting as we should? Are we reaching out to whom we should? Are we living out our faith as we should? These are serious yet appropriate questions to be asking any time of year but even more so this time of year. However, there is also a great risk, especially if we find ourselves wanting. It is then when we tend to be at our most vulnerable and Satan loves that, and he will wait for the perfect moment to strike. He will fill our heads with reminders of our sins and vices to remind us that we are unworthy. He pulls us into the darkness so he can extinguish God’s light within us by inspiring us to feel depression, anger, and even in severe cases- self-loathing.
This self-loathing can stem from so many things. Through the years, there have been so many Christian men and women who have given to despair out of shame for feeling weak during the storms of life or what St. John of the Cross described as “The Dark Night of the Soul”. The Dark Night of the Soul is described as “a period of spiritual desolation in which all sense of consolation is removed”. In many Christian circles, feelings of melancholia are viewed as something to be avoided. It’s a manifestation of ingratitude, weakness, lack of faith, and ego. The criticism is even harsher for those who have been called to serve God as pastors, priests, and other Christian leaders. Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I would ask you to consider the story of the prophet Elijah who did feel despair and grief. We all know this man as a mighty prophet who never tasted the bitter-sweet nectar of death. He began and ended a three-year drought through prayer, was fed by ravens, kept a mother and her child from death by instructing her to use a little of her last bit of grain to feed him. Yet despite all these amazing events, Elijah still felt darkness, he still experienced storms in his life. When he had to flee from the court of Jezebel, he tasted bitter failure. He felt sorrow and was even suicidal. 1 Kings 19 shares this suicidal ideation with us: “But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors. (1 Kings 19:4)”’ Clearly, God didn’t grant his servant’s prayer and sent angels to minister to Elijah. However, this was one of many times Elijah felt the attack of the enemy.
It is during such an attack that God shows His most tender mercies. The word grace is often interpreted in a variety of ways, but I would like to boil it down two simple words- mercy and love. As Ephesians 2: 4-5 says: But God who is rich in mercy, out of great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-by grace you have been saved- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
If anyone knew what grace was, it was the man who wrote these beautiful words. They are the words of someone we once knew as Saul of Tarsus. The man who rounded up men, women, and children who believed in Christ and dragged them back to Jerusalem for a summary or kangaroo trial and immediate execution. This was the man who even at his darkest moment experienced the love and mercy of God. When he was on his way to Damascus, grace found him. He saw the Jesus of Nazareth who he until that moment had despised. Jesus asked him the simple question- “Saul, Saul why do you persecute me?” before blinding him. But He didn’t abandon Saul, He made sure that Saul could find his way to where he needed to go. As we know, this man would later become Paul and he eventually became a light to many while preaching of the grace that found him on the road to Damascus. In his first letter to Timothy, he wrote: “I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he judged me faithful and appointed me to his service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 1: 12-14)”.
A blasphemer, a persecutor, a man of violence, the worst of all sinners. These are the words Paul used to describe Saul-his former self. If you think about it, this sort of thing goes straight to the modus operandi of Christ. He would reach out to those who society had determined were the worst of them.
He reached out to Zacchaeus, a chief tax collector of great wealth and short stature. Who climbed up a tree, not only because he wouldn’t be able to see Jesus from the back of the crowd, but because he felt unworthy. He wasn’t an accepted member of society and his heart was full of all the reasons he wasn’t worthy to be in the presence of the Messiah. However, Jesus looked up and saw him hiding in the branches and asked him to get out of that tree, so Jesus could go to Zacchaeus’ house and dine with him. That moment of grace changed Zacchaeus and he lived a completely different life because of it.
He reached out to a woman who had to draw her water in the heat of day because her village rejected her as an outcast. She lived a sinful life, she was even living with a man who wasn’t her husband. But Jesus knew all of that, he even gently brought up her sexual immorality and didn’t condemn. He didn’t condone her past actions, but he embraced her where she was and offered her something better.
Grace is just that. Being met where we are and being loved. Jesus didn’t reach out his hand to people when they were at their best. He loved them when they were at their worst. Grace doesn’t come from works, as Paul wrote to the parish of Ephesus. It comes from the love of God who so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. John 3:16 is a passage most Christians are familiar with, it’s usually the first piece of scripture we memorize but its message has depth. John speaks to the depth of God’s love and the extension of His grace: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” God loves us so much, he sent his only son, who was without fault, to die for us. Jesus wasn’t sent to condemn the world, but to save it when it is at its worst.
During this Autumn season, some of you might be where Saul, Zacchaeus, and the Samaritan woman were. You might be sitting in this room right now being reminded of what is lacking in you. I am often there myself. During the 2017 Lenten season, I was at my lowest and felt as disconnected from God as I could get. I felt that despair and self-loathing that many of us experience at some point in our lives. My Damascus road ended with a simple and beautiful moment of grace. When I went to the Easter mass that spring, I felt filthy and unworthy because I was listening to the voice of the enemy. In my darkness, our Savior reached out to me through my rector, Fr. Bingham. As I made my way to the altar during Communion, I mouthed to Fr. Bingham, asking if I should even take Communion. He gave me a look before pulling the wafer out of its box. He then gave it me and gave me the blessing- "The Body of Christ, the bread of heaven for you" For you. He put a lot of emphasis on those two words. Then he placed the wafer in my hand and told me to eat it. It was a moment that took a few seconds, but I walked away from that Communion feeling loved, beautiful, and forgiven. It changed me forever.
Before I had the pleasure of speaking to you, we all joined as a body of Christ and partook of the Holy Supper. Some of you might be on your Damascus road right now. Some of you might be struggling with something dark in your life. You might have walked in here today wondering why you came when there is despair in your life. I ask you, I beg you, to remember the reason why we take Communion. It is the body of Christ broken for you. It is the blood of Christ shed for you. It is the bread and wine of heaven for you. It is the celebration of the love and tender mercy that God feels and gives to you. Repentance isn’t just a time of fasting and grief, it is a celebration of the love and mercy that is manifested in Christ Jesus. God loved us so much that He gave up His only begotten son and that through Him we experience love and grace.
Let us pray: Father God, you know our hearts. No secrets are hidden from you. You know our joys, our fears, our sorrows. When the storms of life reach our shores and darkness threatens to overcome us, anchor us to you. Reach into the deep and pull us into your grace and love. We depend wholly on you, O Lord. We love you. Please be with those of us who are hurting or maybe feeling distant from you. Please remind us of your tender mercies and the great love you have for us. Help us as your family be there for each other in times of joy and times of grief. Never let us forget that each of us are one of your beloved children. For all things, we praise your name. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
c-ya
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